From a young age I knew that I was a sinner and the only way to be saved would be through Christ. I wanted to
be saved but I didn’t understand how to be. I went through periods of time where the concern over my spiritual condition was heightened and I would take time to read The Bible and pray more often. I knew that if I didn’t repent and confess my sins and know Jesus as my saviour I would spend forever in Hell. I felt that it was hopeless and still didn’t understand how I could be saved. This would only ever be temporary and my concerns soon went away. I remember going through a couple of years where I was terrified of the end of the world. I feared eternity and the knowledge that I would go to Hell if I stayed as I was. Over the last year I started thinking about my understanding of the Bible and wanted to read it more for myself to make sure that my beliefs lined up with the Bible’s. The more I read, the more I understood that the Bible was clear on repentance and that if we confess our sin’s He is faithful to forgive. But I was still not sure. I knew about the elect and how Christ has a chosen people. I wanted Him to make the first move and show me I was saved by giving me a sign. I found discussions with other Christians about salvation helpful. One conversion was especially encouraging to me as it was described; firstly, recognising their sin, confessing and putting their faith in Jesus. I could see a change in them and could see how the spirit was leading them. I was encouraged at how simple their conversion was and yet could see it was true. Discussions with Christians after church were also helpful and I could see how people loved God and wanted to serve Him, and I wanted that as well. I knew that if I called on God and asked Him to forgive me, He would, but I held back and was unsure of why. I decided I would make sure I understood repentance fully - I looked up chapters that spoke of repentance and went through them. The message I heard was the same as is seen in 2 Chronicles 7: “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin”. I saw that The Bible was clear on what sinners should do, confess, believe and turn from their sin. When reading John 6, I felt my concern over, ‘having a sign from God’, was answered. After witnessing the feeding of the 5000 the people asked how they might do the works of God. Jesus said simply, “to believe in the one he has sent”. Instead of obedience to Him they asked that Jesus would give them a sign. They used the experience of the Israelites receiving manna (or bread) in the wilderness. Jesus responded by saying that the manna was not the true bread of heaven. Instead, they needed the bread of eternal life. Jesus said “I am the bread of life; he that comes to me shall never hunger; and he that believes on me shall never thirst”. I could see that the manna then was a physical sign of God’s love to His people. Jesus now is a sign of God’s eternal love to His people and His desire for them to be reconciled to Him. I could see that, like those people, I had been looking for a sign but God has already given it in the form of Jesus. When I read Isaiah 30, I realised that although I had wanted salvation, I hadn’t wanted to turn from my sin and serve the Lord fully. It says; “in returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and confidence shall be your strength, and you would not”. I, like the children of Israel, had not wanted to give up sin and turn from it, to Christ. I realised God didn’t want people to die but wanted them to come to Him, as it says in 2 Peter 3, “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” and in Ezekiel 18 “For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone… so turn and live.” I confessed my sins and believed in Christ as my saviour. Lucy Hill
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Lucy Hill
Lucy started attending Wigmore at the beginning of 2021 and through God's grace was converted. She became a member in Winter 2021. |
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